I had woken up in the middle of the night and replayed the entire event in my head searching for the moment that I could have made a different decision, but there was none. Everyone in front of me had suddenly stopped. So I played it out again with the same devastating results. There simply was no where to go and I still feel like I would have been better off curling up under the deflated air bags and crying. Somehow I think that would have changed everything.
It seems every day over the past month has been littered with my strengths and joys alongside those annoying things that could convince anybody that they have failed. Fortunately for me, many of those things have given me more freedom. The downside with freedom though is that you have more choices and with choices you have to make decisions. I refuse to believe I have failed. I am pretty confident in fact that the future holds many many places to rest and celebrate.
If you follow this blog and have been wondering if I will ever post again, I have an answer for you. I will. In fact I have tried a couple of times but I just have not been able too actually write anything for my readers.
On two lighter notes, my dad made me laugh and laugh about his travels. I have been asking him to send me some travel writing to host here and I am still working on that. The other light note, my husband handed me a tiara the morning of my birthday and instructed me to wear it all day. “Even to my exit interview?” It was one of those kind of great days.